Earlier this evening, I received an email from the Elders Quorum President regarding a challenge proposition to all the members of the Elders Quorum. The challenge is to list prayerfully list 7 things to focus on this week. Each day, pray in the morning over one of those things, keeping this prayer in your heart, being cognizant of how you are focusing on that particular area in your life (whether it is something of a blessing, or something of a weakness), and then in the evening; pray and discuss this with your Loving Heavenly Father. All this stems from two specific talks.
The first talk referenced is Elder David A. Bedner’s talk on Prayer – Pray Always. In this article, Elder Bedner references three key principles in prayer:
- Prayer becomes more meaningful as we council with the Lord in all our doings – Alma 37:37
- Prayer becomes more meaningful as we express heartfelt gratitude
- Prayer becomes more meaningful as we pray for others with real intent and a sincere heart
The second talk that is referenced is President James E. Faust’s article on the Lifeline of Prayer.
Thus, in the midst of reading both these articles, pondering their meaning, and having to come to a point of confession – I remember one of my original posts here on wordpress entitled “Pray Always“. This article being inspired by D&C 19:38: Pray always, and I will pour out my Spirit upon you, and grat shall be your blessing…
What then is my problem?
Honestly, I have a fear of personal prayer. Do not get me wrong. Most days, I tend to catch myself calling upon the Lord, praying that I make it through the day. Calmly pray that I will do the best that I can do. Pray in the moment of weakness when I feel like I am going to break down.
In fact, one of the most memoriable moments of prayer in my personal life is this:
When I reached the promise recorded in Moroni 10:4, a revelation came into my mind and heart. I had read the Book of Mormon. I had studied and defended the LDS Faith in my early to mid-twenties. I had left the LDS Faith and became a Born again Christian. I believed and embraced the doctrines of Calvinism and Reformed christianity as the true biblical doctrines of the Bible. Yet, with all this knowledge, with all this understanding that I had, none of it matter because it was right then and there that I personally came to know that I never once had a true testimony of God, of Jesus Christ, or of the Book of Mormon.
In a moment of humility, I knelt down and prayed. It was the third day from when I had first took hold of the missionary copy of the Book of Mormon. I wanted to believe. I wanted to know beyond any shadow of doubt that my Heavenly Father truly loved me, that He truly had been and still was a part of my life. I wanted that testimony that I had never acquired. In the most humble and sincerest prayer I had ever uttered in that small room, I knelt in prayer. I did not know if he was going to answer me. I did not know anything. All I knew was that I was in darkness and that the only person who truly held the answers that I sought after was not in some books, but coming before my Heavenly Father in prayer.
As I prayed, my mind started calling up all my bitterness that harbored in my soul, all the anger I had held towards those who offended me, the frustrations in my life, the disappointments, the rejection, the abandonment that I had experienced all came out in my prayer as I went from kneeling to prostrating myself and crying against the cold linoleum floor. A wave of peace filled me as I felt a hand touch me. There were no words, but an overpowering sense of comfort. I laid there, crying, allowing all the emotions that I had bottled up inside to finally be released in one powerful moment. I had received the answer that so long had escaped me.
Why then am I so scared of praying on a daily basis? Meaning, why am I struggling to pray in the morning and at night?
The first reason is out of sheer fear. In this sense, when I was outside of the LDS Faith, and I was attending an Assemblies of God Church, I prayed constantly. In fact, I prayed more so outside of the LDS Faith than I had inside the LDS Faith. Yet, they did not seem to be very honest prayers. And, when I prayed for success at work that morning, the employment opportunity would literally slam its doors in my face.
Thus, with trepidation, there are definitely things I would like to pray for. Some of those things are very personal and real. The others are for family and stability. Definitely am going to take on this challenge and am hoping to report back the results of this. Maybe this is the kind of challenge I needed to get myself back into a more stable prayer life.
1 Comment
August 10, 2009 at 5:30 am
[...] it is something of a blessing, or something of a weakness), … Here is the original post: A Challenge Through Prayer « A Latter-day Saint Christian Perspective Tags: are-focusing, being-cognizant, bible, Christian Prayers, counselling, for-breakthroughs, [...]