“No One Owes you Anything”

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Sometimes, when someone speaks words of truth, one naturally will take offense to them and what they have to say. Yet, if someone never steps up to the plate and speaks the honest truth, then where would that leave you? What type of person would you truly become if your life is spent going through the motions, believing things that ended up being false, ended up being more detrimental to you than if someone had stepped up to the plate and knocked you back some?

For me, it happened one evening while I had started working as a Janitor for the Bellevue Neighborhood Church. Now, keep in mind, this was a time in my life when there were seasonal upsets that consistently happened every year. This was one of them, and it was where I had lost my place to live, had a Mazda 323, and spent my days at the Bellevue Public Library doing research on the Bible, Doctrines, Christianity, Mormonism, and various other types of religious research.

During this, a gentleman had become acquainted with me. While the AG Church was in the process of building a new playground, and sense I was not doing much of anything, I offered to help out. Through this, he worked on getting me hired on at the church as a full time custodian. And, to be quite honest, it was one of the most fulfilling jobs I have ever held.

On this one specific night, we were outside, enjoying coffee, break from cleaning of the building, and I had started in on my usual rant. Why am I in this situation? Why can’t someone come out and say, “hey, here is some food,” or invite me over for dinner?

After a few moments, he looked me in the eye and flat out said to me:

“Tim, you need to stop thinking that everyone owes you something because no one owes you anything,”

This did not go down so well and when I attempted to rebut what he had to say, he did not allow me any time to and just merely asked me to think about this. When he left, and I finished up cleaning and locking up the building, I went out to where my car was parked, climbed in, and laid back in the seat. The only thing that I could possibly think about was what he had said to me.

First, anger. How dare he say something like that to me when I had done nothing wrong. Yet, the more it came to mind, the more the understanding developed. Most of my life had been spent seeking after those to help me yet, what have I done to help myself out? Nothing really. I had done nothing to resolve the issues in my life. What ended up being was a mere band aid on a wound that would not be allowed to heal. Blaming others for the failings in my own life when very easily I needed to take responsibility.

Truth of the matter is, to this day, I am thankful for that one single night in my life when someone had the gumption to say to my face “No one owes you anything”. It is the down right truth. And, when you take a moment to think about it, looking around in the world today and to what extent our society has become, one will see that it is based on the ideaology that someone owes something to someone.

We have built this false pretense of a society where it is all about individuality and not the common good. It is about what people can do for us and not what we can do for another person.

Our entire culture has long lost the meaning of true “community” when we can’t even put our political and religious differences aside and embrace one another as fellow human beings who are different in a myriad of ways and understandings. We all have something to contribute, we all have our own talents that we can bring to the table.

Furthermore, as the unemployment rate increases, what are your thoughts when you go before an employer? I know that I have recently held the temperament that because I possess all these different experiences, a new employer owes me what I am worth.

In marriage, how is this prevalent in your relationship with your spouse and family? “You owe me a night out,”

In short, when we say someone owes us something, it is when we have adopted a pious and selfish attitude. An attitude that is arrogant, self-righteous and ultimately leads to the oppression of others to get what we want because we have become so dissatisfied with how things are in our own lives.

The reality is that life happens to every one of us on various different levels. We all work together for the common good of our community and society. When our community suffers, we suffer. When our society collapses, it is because we have allowed our own individual arrogance in thinking that others owe us more than we owe them. We have long forgotten the true meaning of brotherhood. Long forgotten the true meaning of looking out for one another.

Yes, there are small pockets of human decency in our society where the community pulls together to mourn, to grieve, to uplift, to encourage, to support. However, it is becoming more and more distant than thirty or forty years ago.

It all comes down to the simple understanding that when we step back, take a look at our lives, and our attitude toward ourselves, those close to us, and those within our communities, it makes more sense that we owe more to ourselves individual than anyone else owes us.

Think about it, it is a hard pill to swallow, and sometimes, the truth has to be spoken, and it has to be accepted.

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